Insecurities
by Pandamore
Summary: Every day Embry is becoming more and more distant from the pack, feeling more and more like an outcast. He hates himself every day and wishes he was never born, but what happens when everyone's wish comes true and Embry imprints? Will she be able to heal Embry's scar and fix his broken self? (Warning self harm, suicidal thoughts, depression, sex, swearing, & violence)
1. Intro

Embry wishes he didn't learn the truth about his past and become what he is now. Embry phased almost a year ago now and every day he wishes he hadn't. Now he knows the truth about who he is. He was in fact a Quileute Native American and that means his father has to be one of three options; his best friend Jake Black's father, his best friend Quil Ateara's father, or his alpha, Sam Uley's father. The problem in this is that all three men had been married and had their own kids at the time Embry's mother got pregnant. Everyone had hoped Embry was Sam's brother only because his father already looked bad in the community, so him cheating on his wife would not be surprising.

To make matters worst, Jake had thought Embry actually wanted to know which was his father and had convinced Sam to allow them to do a dna test to surprise Embry. Embry never wanted to know, he never wanted to be apart of this. He just wants to go back to his normal life where he thought his father was dead, where he actually trusted his mother, where he got along with his mother, he wanted his life to be how it used to be, but it can never be anymore.

Embry hated himself every day of his life. He was a child born from an affair, a bastard child. Embry used to love his life, but now he wishes he was never born. Everywhere he looks he sees happy family and is reminded that he was nothing, but a homewrecker. Sam says he's happy that Embry's his brother, that he loves him, but Embry isn't stupid. He's different from the other guys. The other guys feel as if they belong, they are happy for the most part, and they have all bonded with one another except Embry. Embry feels as if he's an outsider, as if he shouldn't have phased and joined the pack. Every day he distances himself more and more from the pack, shutting himself out from everyone who cares about him.

The only thing the guys wish for is that Embry finds his imprint, they hope she may be the one to pull Embry back and get him to be his old self again, but the truth is many fear that because of Embry's situation that he will never imprint. It's something that only makes Embry more depressed and hates himself all the more. While everyone else can find their soul mate and be happy Embry will always be alone and an outcast.

In the eyes of most Embry is the quiet, reserved, and loner of the pack, but in the eyes of the pack he's much more. He's scared, hurt, lonely, confused, and most of all broken. Everyone knows that Embry is the nicest guy they know, but it seems like every day their goofy and sweet Embry is leaving and becoming just an empty shell of himself. Their greatest fear is that one day there won't be anymore Embry left to save.


	2. Chapter 1

Embry groans as his alarm goes off. Last night had been rough. He had the night off and he decided to spend his night drinking his pain away, something he did most nights when he didn't have to patrol, but at the moment he was regretting his decision.

It was Monday and so he would have to go to school, something he was not looking forward too. He never looks forward to school and if he had it his way he'd just drop out, but his mom would have his head if he didn't do go in school, not that he cared what she wanted anymore.

Embry pushes the covers off of himself and climbed out of bed. Everything was too bright, but he forced himself to get dressed and get ready for school. He had dark bags under his eyes and his eyes were bloodshot. His hair was a total mess and he looked very pale, but he ignored how he looked and simply clean himself up the best he could before heading down the stairs. His mother already was at work, so he didn't have to worry about hearing another speech about how he needed to get his act together.

Embry grabbed some coffee to go along with a muffin before he headed out the house. He expected he'd have to walk, so he was very much surprised when Sam pulled up to his house. Embry hesitated, half thinking about just walking, but he knew Sam would kill him if he didn't at least talk to him, so he headed over to Sam's truck.

Sam rolled the window down and looked at Embry. "Get in, I'm driving you to school." He tells Embry, causing him to frown.

"I can walk."

"Embry." Sam looks at him with sharp eyes. "Get in the damn truck." Embry heaves a sigh before putting his muffin in his mouth in order for him to open the door. He bit the chunk of muffin off and put the muffin back in his hand as he got settled in the truck.

Sam drove back down the road and headed for the school. Embry simply eats his muffin and drinks his coffee in silence. "You look like hell." Sam says, causing Embry to shrug. "Were you drinking again?"

"Do you care?" Sam frowns and looks at Embry with a sad frown.

"Believe it or not, Em, I do." Embry ignores him and finishes off his muffin. "Look, Em, this isn't who you are. Getting drunk, staying out late, not caring about school, hurting yourself-

"I don't-

"Bullshit. You might be a fast healer, but we all see the signs, Embry." Embry frowns and without thinking, he rubs his forearm, which causing Sam's frown to deepen. "You're ruining your life, Embry."

"What life?" Embry spat out.

"Em-" Sam had pulled up to the school and as soon as he stopped Embry open the door.

"Thanks for the ride, Sam, but save the speech. I hear enough of it from my mother." He says before jumping out and closing the door. Embry walks off towards the building, not sparing Sam another glance.

Sam watches Embry go and leans his head back with a sigh. "I'm just trying to help, we all are." He mutters as he closes his eyes. "You don't make it easy." His phone rings, causing him to open his eyes and fish it out of his pocket. "Hello?"

"Did you drop Embry off?" Emily's voice asks from the other end.

"Yeah, I did."

"And? Did you two talk?"

"I don't get what you think would happen. Like always he blew me off."

"Well, you have to keep trying." Sam rolls his eyes as he pulls back out of the school.

"It's not that easy, Emily."

"I don't care if it's easy, Sam Uley. He's your brother whether you accept that or not. You have a responsibility to be there for him. He needs you."

"Emily, he doesn't want my help. He doesn't want anyone's help." Sam says, growing frustrated with having the same talk with his girlfriend every day.

"Sam, he's just a kid and he's going through a lot." Emily says in a more softer tone. "How would you feel if you found out your mother lied to you and you were part of an affair?"

"I know, Emily, I know. I get that, but Embry…" Sam frowns and shakes his head. "He wants to stay in the pool of self hatred. He doesn't want help. He just wants to suffer and be depressed."

"Sam, you can't be telling me you're giving up. He's your little brother, he needs someone-

"Well, clearly I'm not that person, Emily. If I was then he wouldn't have totally brushed me off six times."

"It has only been three, don't be over dramatic." Sam rolls his eyes.

"Emily, have Jake or Quil talk to him, they're his best friends."

"I tried, he won't talk to them about it. You know how he is, Sam. He doesn't want Jake and Quil worrying about him. He would never talk to them about it."

"And he'll talk to me?"

"Sam, someone needs to try. I'm scared that if someone doesn't get through to him soon…." Sam took a shaky breath at Emily's words.

"Em, Embry's not going to kill himself."

"How do you know? Self harming is only a step away from killing yourself. We all know he hates himself and wishes he was never born. What's to stop him from killing himself?" Sam couldn't hear another word of this. Whether Embry realizes it or not, Sam does care about him and he does love Embry. Sam could never live with himself if Embry was to kill himself.

"Emily, please can we just not talk about this." Sam begs, his voice shaking slightly as he spoke.

"I'm sorry, I just-

"I know. It's hard for Embry and I'm trying, I really am, but I don't think anyone can help him. You can't help someone who doesn't want help." Sam tells her as he pulls into their driveway.

Back at the school, Embry is busy stuffing his locker with the books he doesn't need for first period. "Hey, Em." Jake says as he goes and leans against the locker beside Embry. "Sam told us he was going to pick you up."

"He did." Embry says as Quil goes and stands on the other side of him.

"Did you two talk?" Quil asks hesitantly, not wanting to upset him.

"Yeah." Embry says.

"What was it about?" Jake asks as Embry shuts his locker.

"We're going to be late for class." He mutters as he turns and walks down the hallway, not waiting for them.

"You think he's okay?" Quil asks, earning a look from Jake.

"What do you think?" Jake asks with sarcasm as he heads off after him.

"Why is everyone in such a bad mood." Quil mumbles as he follows after them. "I wish things would be like they used to be."


End file.
